Can someone gives me your piece of mind?

I had a joyous weekend with my alumni. We went for movie in GSC Mid Valley Megamall on saturday. LOTR was fully booked via iSMS and online reservation a few days ago, and the crowds were still can be seen as usual in front of GSC cinema. Actually I reserved the tickets for Internal Affairs 3 on last friday. It was a excellent movie also, albeit I was slightly out of movie in the beginning, due to its fast-interchange of story timeline. The involvement from Tony Leung, Andy Lau, Leon Lai, Kelly Chen, Eric Tseung, Anthony Wong and Chan Dao Meng were seamless co-operation. Tony Leung, especially showed his nature charisma, with admirable and majestic acting. It is an past-story description movie, underpinned by an fade-in and fade-out soundtrack.

When we strolled through central courtyard which laced with enchanting Christmas song, we were greeted by Mei Ann and Rachel, caming from the back and cuffing around my shoulder. Rachel was misunderstooding that Boon Teong = Poh Tiong, from her asking about "Tiong" who was from eighth college.

Sunday was not the day for hanging-out at complex mall anymore. I had to start my studies. My mid-term tests are held on Monday and Tuesday, so I had to pay double-effort to revise them. The person as lazy as me never touch the book until last minute when exams is around the corner. The fact is - final semester is the time to relax and have to standby emotionally and physcally for the coming "headache" graduation. We still have a long journey to venture, but future outlook is so miserable and beyond the prediction. My action of slowing down and spiral downwards is a real proof of my "pre-graduation dilution" sydrome.

Then, I was "locked" again by an unsolved problem that seems never meet its solution since long long time ago - english barrier. As what I had articulated with Fooji several times, english proficiency is still an unreachable dream for me. Sometimes I was quited annoyed with this weakness in speaking or communicating in English. I realise that write in english and communicate with english are distintive. The people who can write well is not necessarily good in communication, ans it is same to reserve circumstance. The obvious distintion will be - in essay writing, you can edit the sentence you wrote once, or twice, or ever more until you are 100% satisfy of it; meanwhile improvising in english with precise pronouncation, accute grammars, smooth sentence flow is absolutely not a easy job. Current marketability is poised by those who have a good communication skills, especially in English. They are always set higher priority, and become everyone's favours - the employers, buddies etc. People will respect people who can speak english fluently, undoubtedly.

Language barrier is an obstacle for idea/knowledge sharing. But just imagine, for my case, I might be so-called "knowledgable" enough to share my view and express my idea, but again it was normally ended with confusion, where people might can't catch my message due to incorrect pronouncation, misuse of word, and unsorted of sentence flow. What a huge nuisance for me! Moreover, the current environment worsen my case to communicate in english. Most of my uni-friends are chinese-educated and they speak Mandarin all the time. Yet I have no choice but follow the crowd to speak Mandarin as well. If you suggest to communicate in english with them, it might not a good way since they have spoken Mandarin since childhood and they prefer not to change the habit. That is why occasionally when I meet with english-educated friends who speak english all the time (like you all), I had my hardest time to share my view because I'm still less of confidence in speaking english.

Please advice. I'm looking serious on this nascent yet devastating weakness. The english communication problem that I confront since previous time still remained unsolved. My determination in powering well the language seems in vain. I hope you guys whose are mastery in English can give me a piece of advice. The chance to improvise in English confidently in the public will be my endless dream. If the dream comes true, there will be my greatest delight which is undescripable.

Lastly, I sincerely hope that we can communicate in english next time naturally and automatically when we meet. No mandarin and cantonis more. I will acknowledge your kindly advice and guidance in parallel to my determination to reduce or eliminate my language barrier. I foresee the important to be proficient in english.